Students in several grade levels are learning about self esteem in Wellness this month. Building up a child's self esteem early in their development is important because it is a major protective factor for their physical and mental health- especially during the transition to adolescence! So what is self esteem, exactly? Self-esteem is our overall opinion and attitude towards ourselves. This can include our confidence in our ability to do hard things, our self-image and attitude towards our physical appearance, as well as our general sense of self worth. Self-esteem is demonstrated to us most clearly by the voice inside our heads. People with high self esteem tend to engage in positive self-talk and cheer themselves on, while those with low self esteem may find their internal dialogue to be overly negative or critical. The amount of self esteem someone has is determined by many different factors and life experiences. The people in children's lives (parents, friends, teachers, coaches) are constantly sending messages about whether their behaviors are 'right' or 'wrong'- even unintentionally! When children are constantly being punished, reprimanded, or put down by others it can chip away at self esteem and make it harder to notice their own positive qualities.
Self esteem can also be influenced by early experiences with success and failure as we develop different skills. The way we learn to bounce back from failures and strive towards personal growth can also serve as a foundation for self esteem. Signs a child may be struggling with their self esteem:
If your child is showing signs of low self-esteem at school or at home, there are many ways you can support them as a parent. Increasing the amount of praise you provide for positive behaviors can teach children that they are capable of great things... and that someone is noticing. Praise should be frequent, specific, and stated in a meaningful way. Think about the behaviors your child engages in that make you feel proud. Next time that behavior happens, let them know! Adults also model self esteem through the way we speak about ourselves. I know I've been guilty of minimizing others' compliments when I feel that I don't deserve them- or even the occasional self-deprecating joke at my own expense. When we do this in front of children it could teach them to have the same automatic negative responses to praise and prevent self esteem from building. Being your own biggest fan and modeling self esteem through positive affirmations can teach children to do the same. Finally- teach resilience. Even when a child makes a mistake, it is not necessarily a reflection of who they are inside. Our kiddos need to know that they can re-do a behavior mistake or work to improve upon a poor performance. We (as parents or educators) can provide them with a safe place for these important learning moments. If your child is struggling with low self esteem or negative self talk, don't hesitate to reach out to the Wellness team. Warmly, Ms. Harris
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AuthorLynsie Harris is a Nationally Certified School Psychologist and the Wellness Director at BRCS. Archives
February 2022
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